"Sorry, I have to wash my hair..."

If you are going to take me on a date, please have one of two things:
either have the date well thought out, 
or spend some money on me. 

(I know this sounds shallow, let me explain!)

I have heard over and over recently the complaints of lazy boys who hate dating. They say girls are just money-sucks, but when I try and tell them it doesn't take money they claim I'm crazy. 


I'm all for women's rights, so I do ask guys out occasionally. (it's usually not a first date, I'm old fashioned that I think they should make the first move) So, I have planned a few dates. I know how it goes. 


So yes, it can get expensive, if you aren't very creative. Dinner and a movie every weekend will get pricey.  But I've been on some great dates that were really cheap! (ie-feeding ducks and swinging on swings) It just needs to be planned out!


There is nothing worse than getting into the car and your date asking what YOU want to do. What do I want? I want a man with a little initiative and creativity. 


Not someone who doesn't care enough about me to plan anything out, and then blatantly wants to spend as little as physically possible on me. 



Come on! Treat a girl to a nice time: you put some time and effort into her, she'll be more willing to put some time and effort into you :)

The Review

I saw this weekend, the long awaited movie, Something Borrowed. 


Can I first off let you know that this man, is BEAUTIFUL!

Total Dream-Boat!


But...


I still LOVE this man-

My opinion on the movie? I loved the actors, some of my favorite. But...  They try and take something TERRIBLE (cheating) and make it into something romantic.  It was a roller coaster ride, deciding whether I like the Dex character or not. In the end, I just didn't know how to feel about the whole thing. But, I am pretty practical, and the disturbing circumstances of the whole movie made it hard for me to love. 

My advice: don't pay 9+ dollars to see it in theaters. 

SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN IT!!!

Now for more of my feelings about specific things:

Did I call it about Ethan or what?! Ok, so he really isn't gay, but  he DID pretend to be! I laughed so hard when he said that he was!

They make you love Ethan and then he ends up with no one. Personally I was over Dex by the end. He was a coward, a good looking one, but one none the less. Rachel should have realized she loves Ethan, the one who puts her first, and pushes her to be better than she is.  This is the major reason I'm not in love with the movie.

I also felt really bad for Rachel. Darcy is a WITCH, and Rachel should have called her out on it, but always just endured. Like Ethan said "if the roles were reversed, Darcy wouldn't even hesitate." 

PS- the F bomb was totally unneeded in the show. 

And the whole scene at the Hamptons when you can hear the love birds upstairs, was sick and wrong. If Dex didn't love Darcy why was he still with her at all?  

eNErgY

I've been told that guys can tell when you are available. Like you send off this signal, that even if you haven't talked in ages, that they can pick up on. You don't even have to make contact, but they just know. 

Well, I think I can attest that this is truth. I was really stuck on Ed, I know, I'm pitiful, and seriously since then haven't gone on a single date. 

Then last week, I realized that I needed to really just move on. I was holding onto this false hope, a hope for something I didn't really even want: Ed. (once I get attached I have a really hard time letting go...)

So as I decided this, all these guys have been giving me attention. One guy who has known me for a while and then out of the blue asked me for my number, and is now pursuing me. Another guy randomly called me up and asked me if I could do something with him when we have never hung out in the past year of knowing each other. And yet another guy has come into my life, and told me he wants to take me out sometime.  

Seriously, around this place it's feast or famine. I actually would love a nice long dating experience. Instead of this roller coaster ride of dating periods. Though as I'm on the uphill, I'm not complaining.  

Once upon a time...

Once I went out with some friends, and we went dancing. There was this little guy who danced so close to me that I seriously was uncomfortable. Like, honey really, back off my grill. It was super awkward, and basically probably won't go back because of him.  

Then today as I was shopping I made eye contact with this guy looking at me. I run across lots of new people at my job, so at first I just thought that he was just someone random who recognized me.... but as I turned away I realized where I had seen him before.  It was him! The creeper who danced with me. 

I seriously hate how small this town can be sometimes. I run into people I know (or don't want to know) EVERYWHERE! 

It happened again!

Remember how I once told you I am like good luck chuck (minus the sleeping around!) Well, this time I didn't even get a chance to go out with this boy. I crushed on him, he asked me out, but I couldn't go (it was my date week, read here.) Then next time I talked to him, he was in a serious relationship with a girl.  And this past weekend, they got engaged. 

As much as I'll admit I would like to have a big shinny ring on my left hand, I really REALLY would love a boyfriend. Isn't it my turn?! Why are all my options getting themselves hitched?! What? I enter the room and they throw themselves at any open girl? Seriously, where are all the eligible men hiding? 

Love,

SEARCHING, for mr. right. 

Hugs not Kisses

Dear Male world:


There is this thing that you need to know, or learn, or something. See when you hug a girl, you should put your body into it. But not creepy-like. Don't hold for too long, but not for two short either. This is dependent on the situation. 


For example:


If you like the girl= hug her like you want her to know you want her to stay.


If it is a friend that is coming to say hi= a quick, how are you hug is sufficient.


If you have never hugged said female: make it short but DEFINITELY sweet, because you don't want her to think it is awkward.


See, this last example went wrong for me this week. I had never hugged said boy before, but as everyone in the group was leaving and hugging, it came our turn for an embrace. (side note this male is probably at least a foot taller than I am) 
I went to hug him and STUPIDLY put one arm up, and one arm down- the criss-cross hug. I say stupidly, because he didn't bend down. At all. He just put his lanky arms around me and patted. Yep. I just hugged a tree with my arms trying to reach around and above it. F.A.I.L. 

I never know how to hug guys in the first place. Arms above their arms, or arms below, and then there is the one of each. (criss-cross)

And it would have been fine, if he would have learned how to hug. But apparently he was deprived all his life, or something.


So dear Mr. So-and-so,
A word of advice:
Use your body when you hug. Not just your arms. BELIEVE me when I say that when a guy gives a good hug, it can change a girls day. Just so you know.
xoxo
Ava

Oh, hello!

Update on my life? 

Alright.

I told a friend at work, that there is this guy that I've thought is quite cute. I've never talked to him, and only see him pass by the hall sometimes, but have been admiring his beauty for a few months.  

So when she happened to be alone, and he walked into the room, she saw an opportunity she couldn't pass up. 

He was a good sport, and she was classy about it, but she introduced us, and we went out for some ice cream. (just me and him, not her too...)

He then unexpectedly stopped by to see me the next day too.  

He has my number.

He's definitely interested.

BUT-----

There is this other guy at work, who just this week told me he is interested too!!!

He texted me a lot during the whole Ed thing, and even talked with me the night that the whole thing went overboard. 

We usually don't see a lot of each other, but this week our schedules just coincided. 

He told me that he has been meaning to ask me out, but he has been swamped ever since the death of Ed. 

When I went out with the Mr. above, he apparently got all huffy, and when asked about it told the girl that he could get me if he wanted, and that he would treat me the best I've ever been treated in my LIFE! (hahaha)

He then took me out to get ice cream too, and has walked me out to my car after work each night.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know what will happen with either guy, but I find this all very entertaining. 

Number one: when have I ever actually been out with, or impressed by, a cute crush that I hand pick? 

Number two: have I ever had a guy fighting for my affection? 

Both answers are never!

more drama, I'm sure, to come!

xoxo

Ava

Except not...

I was told last night by a guy friend, that I could get ANY guy I wanted. At first I thought he was just being sweet, and was complimenting me. 


But when I said, with a cock-eyed glance, "oh really? Go ahead and explain my last few attempts..."  


He responded that if I were to throw myself at a guy, and do WHATEVER it takes to get a him, then I wouldn't have any problems. 


Yes, I could have any mo-jo of the street if I lower my standards, if I were to do anything they wanted.


But I don't want to be used.
I want to be true to myself.  
So here I am, still waiting for Mr. Right. 


xoxo 
Ava 

DIE.... T!

I hate diets. I do. I have to think of them more in terms of "lifestyle changes." 


Well like the other "diets" I have been on, I tend to cheat.  Like the whole, reduce the intake of sugars part, well fruit snacks aren't sugar right? So I can eat as many as I want right?.... I just justify myself. They aren't candy.... I'm bad, I know. 


So with my Man diet... I am doing really good at not instigating anything. One night I kinda cheated, but I confessed immediately to my girlfriend who started me on this "lifestyle change." But so far I having started texting any guy first, or anything in that nature. 


BUT.... I do still think about boys all the time. Maybe not ALL, but still not enough to say I'm not thinking about it. 


A step in the right direction?


It sure is hard to break old habits. 


BUT.... on the positive side: I am focusing a ton more on improving myself, and have already started to learn some new talents. Lets just say my poor left finger tips are raw... but I will conquer those stupid cords! 


Slowly but surely the turtle wins the race.

especially if you are a ninja turtle!!!

What Hurts the Most...

After 4 horrible days of dieting, I needed closure.  

He had made no, NO, effort to contact me. I kept playing this game in my head that "oh he must just be busy, it'll still work out." "That surely in an hour I'll have a text from him."  Every day I did this, and everyday I was let down. I can only describe it by saying that it was like breaking up with myself: over and over and over again. He wouldn't take the step to tell me that I had false hope, so I just kept holding on... to nothing.

But today I couldn't handle the chaos anymore. The inner war with myself had to be extinguished. 

I called him and told him that I couldn't live like this. That I was hoping that he would man up, and show me that he really wanted me, but with no avail. I then told him that he had to tell me what was going on.

He paused, and then said he couldn't give me what I wanted. But that he felt bad because he knows I don't do guy friends well, but that he wanted to be my friend.  (then I said the part that I am proud of:) I said that I have been honest with him from the beginning, and that I would let him know if we couldn't be friends.  I then said thank you for letting me know (FINALLY!) and that I needed to go. 

No tears shed. It is total relief to finally know what the heck is going on!!! 

What hurts the most is that he didn't respect our friendship enough to even tell me before now. That we hadn't talked for SO long and he didn't just shoot me a text asking me if everything was alright. He didn't make an effort, meaning he didn't care.

One day, I'll be loved.  

My Diet.

I'm on a new diet. It consists of me not making any effort with boys. It is my boy diet. I can still interact with them, for it would be rude to completely ignore them. But I'm done being the instigator, and I want to be chased. 

The one thought that is helping me through this: If he really wants you; if he realizes how amazing you are; he will work for, follow, and come to you. 

I know this has nothing to do with my post, but I typed in "diet" to google, and this popped up. I love it! 

dO YoU knOW wHat iT FeEls LiKE?

Ed and I talked. 
And after I felt sick. 
I was drained. 
I was confused. 
I was unhappy. 
I wanted to throw up.

I thought that things were looking better. 
That there was light at the end of this tunnel. 
That I would not be hanging in mid-air anymore. 
But now I am even more confused at which direction to go. 
And I seem higher off the ground, not closer to it. 


He said that he likes me. He said that he is now debating if he wants to get into a relationship with me. Weighing the options, seeing if we would be compatible. He said he doesn't want to get together and then realize it is wrong in two months. 


BUT THAT IS WHAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE! 


He said that he has never had reservations like he does with me. That's what is holding him back. He said that he doesn't feel like he can be himself around me.


Then I asked him what he expects from me. What are we doing right now then? He said I should just do what I want. WHAT I WANT?! I want to not be doing this. I want to know where I am going. What do I really want?      control.   I hate feeling like I don't know what is happening. That there is no end. He then brought up how I want to know things right then, and that he just "let's it happen."  


Well I've decided what is going to happen. Nothing. Not on this side. If he wants something to happen then he will have to make it happen. I'm done.  I'm sick of this roller coaster. I don't even like roller coasters. No more effort on this end. No more looking into his talking about wedding colors, and then no affection. Nothing. 


I wish I could feel nothing. At least for today. But for now I am just going to stay busy. I am strong. I need to be with someone who needs me. And if he doesn't then I will find someone who will.  


My month of not putting effort into boys starts today. Concerning myself with other activities starts now. 

Honestly....

I don't know if I'm just too old for such things, or if I just have been burned too many times to give in, but I HATE playing games.

Dating games that is! I love these babies!

Ed and I met on a lie. He didn't even know my real name till probably the second time we hung out. But once we started getting to know one another, I told him I'm all about honesty, and he said the same to me.  

It was tough at first, hearing the blunt truth about some things, like his past loves and current feelings for them, but I would rather know upfront what is going on.

He has always said that I can ask him anything, and I do.  

Currently we still aren't sure where we stand, or how to define "us" and though things are kinda confusing in that area of life, it isn't a game of catch and release.  

No fishing going on here. No games. 

And as happy as I am about how honest we are, HONESTLY I hope that things get a little clearer this week....

wHaT A wOmAN WanTS....

I dated him:

  I had met him before, but got set up by my brother and a friend. The first date went well. On paper he is my dream guy.  

-My dream husband profession

-Funny and creative 

-Sporty

-A family guy

-Studious

-Caring

-Dedicated

-Respectful

-the list goes on and on...

I was super excited when he asked me out at the end of our first date.  As he came to pick me up for our second date, I had the pre-date jitters.  I had a whole week to place him up on a golden pedestal. When I opened the door to him, and as we had our first interactions with each other after our first date, it hit me and I knew.  There was no chemistry. 

I gave him plenty of chances that night to prove to me that there was that connection.  But after feeling all night like I was alone, I knew that this would be my last date with him. 

(I'll have to tell you how this became the longest date of my night, even after this point! But that's another story for another time....)

The point I am trying to make is that right now I have this connection with Ed.  There are things with Ed that I never would have predicted I would be interested in. Don't get me wrong, he has all the important things, things that are up on that list, there are just some things (like he's the youngest in his family) that I imagined differently. Yet, he is what I want.  

As I realized today how this has all played out: turning out the man who checks off every little thing I ever thought I wanted, and then wanting something totally different. I now know that what you want on paper isn't everything. You can't map out your perfect match. Matt and I can't just talk about anything and enjoy ourselves like Ed and I can. I would NOT be happy being with Matt. 

 Life is funny, isn't it? 

Sing us a song, you're the PIANO MAN!

I have made an official decision:

Are you ready for it?!

Here it is....

I want a man who can S I N G!!!

Playing the piano while doing so would be a major bonus.  


I just M E L T, when a guy can sing!  


It has been said that food is the way to a man's heart, well a singing voice is the way to my heart. 

update

Well this week has been long and hard. I haven't been in a real relationship in quite a while, and the one guy that I am FINALLY interested in is currently confused on what he wants.  Love is never easy is it?

I keep going through this cycle of wanting to tell him that he needs to decided to date me now or never, and then I feel bad and realize that this isn't easy for him and cut him some slack, and next I decide that none of this is worth my tears and effort and decide to just drop it all and forget it all. It is this endless cycle, of me thinking that he isn't what I want anyway, and then thinking that I could marry him if he would have me.

I got some really good advice the other day, I was talking to a boy about my situation and, of course, he compared this all to food. He said that if you have never tasted pizza, you can't say one way or the other if you like pizza. You have to try it, to actually know if you like it or not. That Edward will never know if this will work out if he never gives it a shot. And, in his favor, if it doesn't work out he is in the same spot he started in.

The thing is, and the reason why I haven't brought this up with him, is that Edward is actually protecting me. He doesn't want to lead me on, and to go through the motions when his heart was never in it.

So I'm not sure what I am doing with this all yet.  Everyone keeps telling me I need to go on lots of dates right now, the problem is that I don't have a ton of control over being asked out. (Don't let my roommate hear me say that though. She thinks I spend too much energy on Edward, when she thinks that if I were to open myself up to more options I would get asked out.  But I can't help that I like to talk to Edward.)  Though my date with David was a bit gross, I was glad I went, to be out with someone who doesn't know about this whole situation, and who gave me undivided attention.

I don't know. I feel like everyone I would get advice from is already invested in this situation.  Meaning they have strong feelings in one way or the other.  It is easy to be a bystander, and suggest just dropping this guy. But they don't understand how picky I am, how hard it is for me to be impressed like this.
But then they might see the faults I don't. 

I've been told that I should never tell a guy straight out that I like him. But I did.  Am I wasting my time?

Am I just going to trust that if this relationship isn't meant to happen, that this is a lesson that I am meant to learn. Relationships are so scary. Vulnerability is frightening, but I had a friend say this to me this week, and it's hard but true:
You have to be open to heartache. Heartache is a part of relationships. 

 

Retarded

I am in love with a guy who is in love with someone else.  (ok, I'm not in love with him, but he is the first guy I have actually been interested in in FOREVER.) Yep, just that lovely conversation with him about how he doesn't want to lead me on, and that I am moving too fast. I feel so stupid for thinking that he wanted to cuddle with me too.
I feel like crap.

So do you want to hear what I did after coming home and crying on my bed in the dark?  I texted two really cute guys that have recently been talking to me. Rebound a little? Yes, but I can't put all of my heart in one place, especially when there is no guarantee that it will ever be returned.

happy HEART day!

Live it up! It's national love day!  

Yet again I am single, but do you see me down today?! 

NO WAY! 

Celebrate the love!  I have friends and family who love me, and I have high hopes for what the future will bring in way of relationships. 

I don't have any grand plans or expectations for valentines day, and I am good. 

It is a GORGEOUS day outside, I'm going to treat myself today.  

Spread the love! 

XOXO,

Ava

Story Book Romance

I’m being selfish.  I have these two boys in my life. One of them is my love interest, the other one my best friend. The problem is that I want both of their attention.

I love when my best friend comes over, we have the same sense of humor, and can talk for hours about nothing.  He is the sweetest nicest guy, but I’m not interested in him like that. I wish I was, because we really do get along great.

 Here is the hard part, I love him, he is my best friend, I want the very best for him, but I don’t want him to leave me.

He brightens my day and makes me happy, but I couldn’t even imagine kissing him.  I just am not attracted to him in that way! We can be hanging out having a great time, but as soon as my love interest walks into the room my heart starts beating faster and all my attention is on him.  This best friend knows I like him, and so I don’t feel like I am playing with his heart, and things are really progressing with my love interest.

Here is the bad part: while telling this story to a friend I realized what this sounds like… can anyone guess? The girl in the middle wanting the one she loves, but also not wanting to lose her best friend in the process?

TWILIGHT!!!

As much as I hate to admit it, my life is sounding a bit like Twilight right now. 

Wanna hear something stupid: in the book I'm a Jacob fan.

I confess…

I’m guilty.

I was waiting for a prescription to be filled yesterday, and gave in.

I could list off a whole bunch of excuses and explanations but none of them will clear me.

I saw this sitting there and couldn’t resist.

 This magazine was the best, with lots of gowns and hairstyles. 

I didn’t even get the chance to look through the whole thing!

Am I engaged?

No

Am I even exclusively dating anyone?

No

Did I care?

No

Some of the people around me could see what magazine I was looking at and, I am sure, assumed that I was preparing for the big day. 
They just don’t know it’s not anytime soon…

A girls gotta plan, and man is it fun to dream!