Sing us a song, you're the PIANO MAN!

I have made an official decision:

Are you ready for it?!

Here it is....

I want a man who can S I N G!!!

Playing the piano while doing so would be a major bonus.  


I just M E L T, when a guy can sing!  


It has been said that food is the way to a man's heart, well a singing voice is the way to my heart. 

Roses are red, violets are blue...

I have decided I LOVE flowers.  

Lots of girls tell me that they don't like flowers because they eventually die. 

But I still love them. I love how romantic they are.  They don't even have to come from a romantic point of view, but they are so idealistic. 

I just love the sweetness of them. 

I get such a joy from something so small. 

update

Well this week has been long and hard. I haven't been in a real relationship in quite a while, and the one guy that I am FINALLY interested in is currently confused on what he wants.  Love is never easy is it?

I keep going through this cycle of wanting to tell him that he needs to decided to date me now or never, and then I feel bad and realize that this isn't easy for him and cut him some slack, and next I decide that none of this is worth my tears and effort and decide to just drop it all and forget it all. It is this endless cycle, of me thinking that he isn't what I want anyway, and then thinking that I could marry him if he would have me.

I got some really good advice the other day, I was talking to a boy about my situation and, of course, he compared this all to food. He said that if you have never tasted pizza, you can't say one way or the other if you like pizza. You have to try it, to actually know if you like it or not. That Edward will never know if this will work out if he never gives it a shot. And, in his favor, if it doesn't work out he is in the same spot he started in.

The thing is, and the reason why I haven't brought this up with him, is that Edward is actually protecting me. He doesn't want to lead me on, and to go through the motions when his heart was never in it.

So I'm not sure what I am doing with this all yet.  Everyone keeps telling me I need to go on lots of dates right now, the problem is that I don't have a ton of control over being asked out. (Don't let my roommate hear me say that though. She thinks I spend too much energy on Edward, when she thinks that if I were to open myself up to more options I would get asked out.  But I can't help that I like to talk to Edward.)  Though my date with David was a bit gross, I was glad I went, to be out with someone who doesn't know about this whole situation, and who gave me undivided attention.

I don't know. I feel like everyone I would get advice from is already invested in this situation.  Meaning they have strong feelings in one way or the other.  It is easy to be a bystander, and suggest just dropping this guy. But they don't understand how picky I am, how hard it is for me to be impressed like this.
But then they might see the faults I don't. 

I've been told that I should never tell a guy straight out that I like him. But I did.  Am I wasting my time?

Am I just going to trust that if this relationship isn't meant to happen, that this is a lesson that I am meant to learn. Relationships are so scary. Vulnerability is frightening, but I had a friend say this to me this week, and it's hard but true:
You have to be open to heartache. Heartache is a part of relationships. 

 

Question: How do you make a kleenex dance?

I went out with David Arquette again. And CONGRATULATIONS: he opened all my doors!

It was really sweet because I can't cook to save my life, and he made me a beautiful dinner at his place.  It was about at this time when I noticed that he had a nose fettish. He would smell every ingredient deeply, and comment on how good it smelled. Not a big deal at the time, but it plays into the big picture of the night.

We had a nice dinner and then we were just talking after words and he kept on having to leave the room and blow his nose.  Then after a few times of this he comes back and left a straggler.  SO AWKWARD! I didn't know what to do!!!  He was trying to be all flirty with me, but I couldn't look at his face, and didn't know what to say! 

what would YOU do in this situation?!?

So then a few minutes later he put his hands over his face, and I knew that he knew. So instead of doing what I would do, which is excuse myself taking care of the situation, he WIPED IT ON THE FLOOR! Now it wasn't totally obvious, but it wasn't on his face anymore, so it had to be what he was doing when he was rubbing his hand on the carpet! 

YUCK, I want to vomit right now thinking about it! 

Then I thought of this joke, it is the only way that I could handle myself, by laughing at the situation.

Answer: put a little boogie in it! 

 

Retarded

I am in love with a guy who is in love with someone else.  (ok, I'm not in love with him, but he is the first guy I have actually been interested in in FOREVER.) Yep, just that lovely conversation with him about how he doesn't want to lead me on, and that I am moving too fast. I feel so stupid for thinking that he wanted to cuddle with me too.
I feel like crap.

So do you want to hear what I did after coming home and crying on my bed in the dark?  I texted two really cute guys that have recently been talking to me. Rebound a little? Yes, but I can't put all of my heart in one place, especially when there is no guarantee that it will ever be returned.

happy HEART day!

Live it up! It's national love day!  

Yet again I am single, but do you see me down today?! 

NO WAY! 

Celebrate the love!  I have friends and family who love me, and I have high hopes for what the future will bring in way of relationships. 

I don't have any grand plans or expectations for valentines day, and I am good. 

It is a GORGEOUS day outside, I'm going to treat myself today.  

Spread the love! 

XOXO,

Ava

My kNiGhT in ShINinG ArMOr

I love The Music Man, and agree with Miss Marian:

Lip Smackin' Good

If having the same chap stick means anything, then we are meant for each other! 

I went out with Edward, and had a FABULOUS TIME! I can talk to him for hours, and am so interested in him. This hasn't happened in a LONG time. I don't even know how to explain it, I just really like him. 

I have a MAJOR crush.

Story Book Romance

I’m being selfish.  I have these two boys in my life. One of them is my love interest, the other one my best friend. The problem is that I want both of their attention.

I love when my best friend comes over, we have the same sense of humor, and can talk for hours about nothing.  He is the sweetest nicest guy, but I’m not interested in him like that. I wish I was, because we really do get along great.

 Here is the hard part, I love him, he is my best friend, I want the very best for him, but I don’t want him to leave me.

He brightens my day and makes me happy, but I couldn’t even imagine kissing him.  I just am not attracted to him in that way! We can be hanging out having a great time, but as soon as my love interest walks into the room my heart starts beating faster and all my attention is on him.  This best friend knows I like him, and so I don’t feel like I am playing with his heart, and things are really progressing with my love interest.

Here is the bad part: while telling this story to a friend I realized what this sounds like… can anyone guess? The girl in the middle wanting the one she loves, but also not wanting to lose her best friend in the process?

TWILIGHT!!!

As much as I hate to admit it, my life is sounding a bit like Twilight right now. 

Wanna hear something stupid: in the book I'm a Jacob fan.

I confess…

I’m guilty.

I was waiting for a prescription to be filled yesterday, and gave in.

I could list off a whole bunch of excuses and explanations but none of them will clear me.

I saw this sitting there and couldn’t resist.

 This magazine was the best, with lots of gowns and hairstyles. 

I didn’t even get the chance to look through the whole thing!

Am I engaged?

No

Am I even exclusively dating anyone?

No

Did I care?

No

Some of the people around me could see what magazine I was looking at and, I am sure, assumed that I was preparing for the big day. 
They just don’t know it’s not anytime soon…

A girls gotta plan, and man is it fun to dream!

The game of LOVE.... basketball!

When the choice is between a church activity and a date I chose the date. 

My eternal salvation is at stake right? 

I need to find a man to take me to the temple…

I know pitiful right? That's not how I really feel, but that's what I joked with my mom about. 

This date was even a pity date on my side. He called and told me that his date canceled and he had tickets that he didn't want to give up.  So even though I was his last choice, I said yes. 

I had only met him once before, but as he pointed out, it would be a good chance to get to know one another. This is my date with David Arquette.

We went to a basketball game, and it was really fun. I like sports when I watch them in person,  television just isn't as entertaining. The best part of the night is that I knew more about basketball than he did. I was the one explaining what was going on. We had amazing seats that he didn't want to loose, so he went, even though he didn't know the rules. 

I love people who look me in the eye. At first it is really awkward, like they are looking into your soul, but then I get used to it. I like the honesty that it brings, the total sense of attention.  It makes me feel important. He has a powerful gaze.

We had a really good time, or at least I did, but I think he can see right through me.  Not that I am trying to hide anything, but usually dates are pretty flirty and just superficial.  He could tell what I was getting at, and called me out on it.  Not in a bad way, it was honest.  

We have seen each other at another function since then, and had a good time talking there too.  He knows that I have been dating lots recently, so I’m not sure if that will deter him, and I’m not sure how I feel about him, but I did have a good time.

Pros: 

Yet again a nice car

Good conversation

Cons:

He ran into a mission companion and his wife.  They both knew David and she turned to me and told me that he is such an amazing guy and a great catch.  This being a first date, I didn’t know really what to say… “yep, he’s nice, but I don’t really know him…”

I may be old fashioned but I like it when guys open my door.  I feel like it can be weird when they do it when getting out of the car, I don’t like waiting. BUT when we are getting in the car, or walking into a building PLEASE DO! It makes me feel important, and like a lady. He failed in this aspect tonight.

OVERALL:

I would go out with him again. I can teach him how to open doors. :)

I'm not sure at what level we connect, since I think we do have a connection.  We'll just have to see if it turns out to be a friendship, or something more...

Ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba BATMAN!

Good news ladies and gentlemen!  

I have an update on this date.  

We went out again, and before we went out I called my friend to see how she was feeling about this situation with us both liking him.  Her wonderful response? She is interested in someone else! HOORAY!

So I was able to turn up my flirt with the beautiful Christian Bale.  (he can be my batman any day!)

We went and got ice cream and then played some games at his friend’s house. 

We texted the whole next day, but haven’t been in touch since.  He is one of those guys who is really hard to read, but he did mention that night that these were his only friends, that he just worked a lot. So I don’t think there is another girl, maybe I’m not exactly what he is looking for, but he is a definite option in my book.  

And did I mention how CUTE he is?    

Love is in the AIR

I welcome the month of LOVE with open arms.

For the first time in my life I feel like I have options.

(I have a lot to catch you up on, but the GOODS are coming)

I feel hopeful for love. 

Not that I think I have found my love, but that I have found options. 

Finally I am excited to date, and to see what will happen.

This is fun! 

It isn’t about forcing myself through date after date, 

but I am intrigued by these gentlemen. 

I want to get to know them better.

I am being honest with my feelings, and learning so much!

Cross your fingers that my luck will continue and I’ll have 

GRAND stories to tell!

Love Ava