Makes you Think

While recounting an awkward date story (this one to be exact) with a guy the other night, I brought up the end of date weirdness. How even though I didn't enjoy my date with Topher, that when he asked me if we could go out again I said sure. And had then just planned on trying to get out of it, or make it short.

The friend I was recounting the story with was really taken aback that I wasn't honest with Topher. My friend said that he HATES it when girls do that. He said he feels led on.

I tried to justify saying that I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. That I don't want to be mean. This friend told me that it would be nicer to just be honest.

-This conversation happened a few weeks ago and I have now thought about this conversation a lot. Maybe the only feelings I am protecting are my own...?

I even had a conversation with a coworker the other day about this. How I feel like I need act a certain way since they are the ones paying to take me out. She shot that down and said that we have no responsibility when they take us out. We don't HAVE TO hug them goodnight. We don't HAVE TO stay out all night with them. (remember how I hate marathon dates but have never asked a guy to take me home early) We don't HAVE TO consent to a second date.

Apparently I need to practice how to be more like this friend.

conversation about a guy friend

friend #1"he's like family"

friend #2 "Well, that's ok!"

friend #3 "No... that's incest."

hug and a kiss

After getting used to hugging one size of guy it throws me off to hug someone else... Especially when I thought it was just going to be a casual hug, not a full frontal "hold me for a second" hug. 
So he zigged when I zagged and if he had been shorter we would have kissed. 
Instead, my lips ended up right on his neck. 
Yep.


I then apologized, and we chuckled. 
Sometimes, I can't help it, I am awkward, and helpless. Oh well!

Something to Consider

It has been done by every teenager at some point: the pairing of your name and his last. Sometimes all over your notebooks, like shown in many a teen pop movie.

We do it just to see how it would look, and feel, and sound.

And as dumb as this may be, I am going to declare that it is a necessity! I once dated a boy whose last name rhymed with my first. Like almost a joke at how similar they were. 

Not that it was really a deal breaker... but it is just something to consider. It will be your name for the rest of your life. 

Post Script

it did slow down.
a lot.
but hasn't stopped.
which is good.

and I may have some distractions... :)

...

He pulled out the slow down card.

slow usually comes before stop.... 

but I'm hoping this is different.

but hope doesn't stop the tears.

Present:

What do you do when a guy just won't leave you alone?!
-Yes, the attention is flattering... until it becomes his obsession.

I'm sorry, No, I cannot talk to you on the phone every day.
I'm sorry, I find it creepy that you text me once, and when I don't respond you text me again.
I'm sorry, I didn't want to spend hours upon hours upon hours with you
I'm sorry, I have a VERY full schedule and you are not at the top of my list
I'm sorry, you can't help with my schedule- last time I checked you 1. can't take my exams 2. can't work for me 3. can't do my church calling 4.can't sleep for me.
I'm sorry, I'm not ready to jump head first into a serious relationship with you

I'm sorry, but I'm just interested in someone else....

Past

I love when guys have no tact. And when I say love I mean the opposite.

For example:
-he called ME
-he asked about MY plans: which were a whole lot of NOTHING.
-THEN he asked about what my ROOMMATE was doing that night.
-and when I told him SHE was BUSY (just wait!!!)
-he told me he needed a DATE and since she was busy he ENDED THE PHONE CALL!

Classy.

I know you didn't know...

I'm kinda seeing someone right now. SHOCKER RIGHT!?! But lets not get ahead of ourselves. The future is unclear. What I do know is that I am loving spending time with this amazing guy, and I'm trying really hard to not fall too fast. (but it's really REALLY hard)

especially when he looks about like this:

minus the chain and the whole attitude. sorry "rated R" your personality stinks, even if you do look like my recent crush. 

swing of things

It's really hard to have to think about something (no matter how pleasurable this something might be) and then after one day of forcing yourself, for a greater benefit, to not think about it, to go back to trying to be how it was.

constant-constant-constant-constant-constant-STOP-and wait now it is supposed to be constant again?
just like that? 


It's a hard concept for me.

Hottest part of his body

I like collar bones. They are hot.


Some girls are all about the arms, or the butt,  I like the rock hard chest- collar bones included.

scent

I hate that the smell of that building reminds me of you. You aren't even around anymore, and still I walk in and thoughts of you begin to flow. 


I wish my nose knew that I don't want that connection. 

you would think

i went on a blind date with Topher Grace

he was taller than me, but slumped in his chair and I felt like I towered over him in the car.


He also didn't have much to say. Lots of silence.


Though the activity was really fun. I love comedy shows. 


Biggest problem of this date:
his lack of confidence. I need someone who is more confident than me. Who will step up so I don't have to. I don't like planning the date you ask me out to, and I don't like having to make every decision down to where we sit. I want to be part of an equal relationship, not wear the pants. 


This might have a really interesting follow up story coming. He basically asked me out for a second date at the end of the night. WHAT WOULD WE TALK ABOUT ON THE SECOND DATE IF WE RAN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY ON THE FIRST? I didn't know what to tell him so I said "sure, I'm just really busy..." We'll see how these avoiding techniques pan out. Maybe I'll just have to give into a ice cream date or something. 


I always date nice guys, guys who are going to make some girl really really happy. Just not me. 

Answer Honestly:

I have always thought that all my dates have been weirdos, and that's why I have been single for these past few years. 

Then it struck me today... what if I am the weird one?

-Do I have some crazy quirks that are just unattractive?

-Am I too  needy? Or not needy enough?

-Or maybe just too picky, looking for someone who doesn't exist?

-Is my aura unappetizing? 

-Do I talk too much, or not enough?

-How about my appearance? Do I need a makeover?

Seriously, I must be doing something wrong! Bad streaks shouldn't last this long for normal girls, right?...

Quote of the Day

"It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40!" 

                       "That statistic is not true!"

 "That's right, it's not true, but it feels true." 

-Sleepless in Seattle 

Somewhere Out There

To my mr.somebody,

As I drove home today I couldn't help but wonder where are you? 

Are you in the car next to me?

Or maybe in a whole different state?

In a classroom somewhere?

At work?

Sitting on your couch?

On vacation?

Do I know you?

Have we met? 

Who are you talking to?

Are you currently in a relationship?

Or are you looking for me too?

Do you ever think of me? 

Because right now, I am thinking of you.

Love,

your Ava

"Twu Wuv"

Everyone keeps using the word "true love." 


-the mormon bachelorette is out to find "true mormon love"
-ABC's bachelorette is on the search for true love


What does True Love mean?
-pure
-honest
-never ending
-all encompassing
-sacrificing


If it isn't true love, in those definitions, shouldn't it just be called LUST or COVETING?


Then it isn't love anyway. So there is no point of defining "true" love, because love is all those things that I listed. 


I guess I just feel like it is love or it's not. 


That's my two cents for the day. 

ABC's Bachelorette

I hadn't watched ANY of this season's episodes of the Bachelorette, but got roped into watching the season finale. And I must say that JP is darling, and I am so happy in her choice. 


For all of you, who like me, didn't watch a lick of it, and are out of the loop: he is amazing. He is so genuine, and thoughtful: I just want one like him of my own! She kinda bugs me but you can just tell when he is with her that she is his everything. I really hope that they work out, and that this is the real thing. I even watched them on Regis and Kelly the next day because I was hooked. I fell in love with their love. They have so much passion, and I love it. What can I say? I love love. 

the mormon bachelorette

if you can't tell. i fail.


this summer has just been a bit to packed with my work being flipped/changed around, I took on a summer semester of school (eek! but one more semester closer to graduation baby!), vacations, and then with trying to fit in a social life (yet, not very many dates, might I add)  I can't keep up with TMB. so sorry. though i'm not sure anyone cared.

Dear Ashley,
I wish you the best, sorry that I am not able to keep up. Hoping you find your Mr. Right!
-Ava

"love is a gift we give ourselves."

agree or disagree?

Sometimes I run into weird people. I'll admit it, I sometimes have weird friends. People that at first glace might seem a bit overwhelming. Though, I think we are all weird, just in different ways.

But throughout all these years I have found one thing to be true with each of them... with all of us. Everyone deserves to be loved. The old, the young, the rich, the bratty, the fat, the socially awkward, the saint, the sinner, the mean, the talkers, the whole of everyone.  No one should be denied this. To find someone who loves them completely. 

Handshake?

Remember that awkward date I just went on? Well I was talking to a friend about awkward dates and she told me that sometimes she just shakes the guy's hand or sometimes just thanks them and walks inside. NO HUG AT ALL! 
I don't know why, but I've always just thought that a hug is protocol. A must after a guy takes you out.
But she made a very good point when she told me that: a handshake puts a very clear signal that you aren't interested. 
Smart, very smart. I often stress after awkward dates that the guy is going to linger, and expect us to fall in love. Maybe next time I will try this handshake business. What say you?

I went on a date.

Um... I tried to find a picture, but I feel better just describing my date. He is a nerd. Glasses, and all. His major even proves it, and apparently I am told that he asks every single girl in the ward out. So I guess it was just my turn.

He had a great pick up line on hand for me after FHE when he asked me out. I wonder if he practiced it...

(also remember how I told you it's always feast or famine? Well, I hadn't been asked out for WEEKS, and then two guys asked me out for this same night. Too bad I never say no to a first date, and that this boy asked me out first!)

He asked me if I usually eat dinner by the time he had set up to pick me up. I told him I will have already eaten... which may not have been the full truth. #1 that I am not at all interested in him and felt bad that he would be spending money on me. #2 that I didn't want to drag this awkward date out. 

Luckily he had an activity planned that involved handiwork to make a beautiful craft. It made the date 95% less awkward. Seriously, our conversation stunk! I tried, believe me. But he didn't ask me questions back. Droopy conversation carrier. 

Then after 3 hours when we were done, he says to me "that didn't take as long as I thought it would." and proceeded to make me want to cry. A FREAKING MARATHON DATE!

for all future daters: PLEASE PLEASE make first dates short! For the female's sake! If we are having a good time we will insist on carrying out the date! Until then, plan on keeping it short and sweet! 

After trying to scrape something together to try and entertain me- which by the way if I say "thanks but you don't have to entertain me all night" is code for "you can take me home now." After an hour of failure, I eventually had to say, "It's ok, I had a good time." And headed for the car. 

Luckily he isn't a lingerer. I haven't really talked to him since. I've heard he is just that way. Thank goodness. 

what a cute couple

Sometimes I look at married couples and I think "GOSH! They're married, and I'm still here, single! How could this happen?!" 

And then I look at the man and remember that if offered, I wouldn't want to marry him anyway. 

I'm not meaning to be cruel, I'm just saying that if I wanted to settle just because I am lonely, I could. But I'm not. I'm going to hold out for my perfect mister. Even if that means years being a table for one. 

Song of my Heart

My boys: Rascal Flatts

TMB catchup!!

(sorry, I am so behind! This is what happens when summer happens.)


Date #6 Daniel Woolston
- she looks really happy to see him
- I love the band Sugarland!
- What a beautiful home.
- I don't like how far away the camera is when they are talking. Can't we see their faces please?
- this video is really artsy.... not my fav right now.
- I don't feel like I know how the date went, there wasn't a lot of insight into the two of them.


Date #7 Kurt Holker (I like him! He made a good impression on me during his intro video)
- Ropes course: so fun!
- This music sounds like a Nintendo game.
- fun date!
- what a good sport to go with her to the news station, and just watch her do her thing.
- I like him best.


Date 8: Matt Walter
- "I don't hope that the boat tips..." hahaha
- their car breaks down. and an Indian ponytail man? good story!
- hmmm I'm liking him.... 
- they look good together.
- are they referring to 9/11?
- he says "like" a lot
- she really likes him.


#9 Pete Howe
- not a reality tv star... haha weird.
- Power to the bats!

hate it.

Stupid:


They say you never really get over your first love. And I wish I could contradict that statement. But I can't. 


Stupid-er: 


I still get butterflies when I see him... and it's been YEARS and years and years. 


More stupid:


I promise I'll try and not judge too quickly this new girl of his. But I can't promise I'll like her. 


Stupidest:


I don't even want him back. 

Tale as Old as Time

Disney had it right when he made Beauty and the Beast. I feel like a lot of girls want to tame this "beast" of a man. These "bad" boys.  
I won't deny it, I sometimes think that, that is what I want too. To have this player, tough boy's life change once he meets little, ol' me. That one glance in my direction and he'll want to stop all his games and sweep me off my feet. .... And then I remember, it isn't very often that this type is actually a kind, sweet, romantic, waiting for some girl to fall in love with him so his gentle side can be set free. 
I guess this only happens if your name is Beauty and you live in a dream land of talking cookware. But it could still happen.... right?  

Flowers are a girl's best friend.

I'm not rich enough to say that diamonds are a girl's best friend, because if that was the case I would have NO FRIENDS. 


I love-love, l o v e, LOVE flowers. I picked myself a rose the other day and couldn't help but smile as I thought of it sitting in a mug on my bedside table. 


A dear friend told me that sometimes she buys and sends herself flowers at work. I love it. Even though you know you bought it for yourself, it sparks the interest of others... Why not stir it up a bit?!


When I have a home, the whole fence will have roses blooming, and there will always be fresh cut flowers on the counter. 

Flowers= the way to my heart. 

five guy(s) TMB

Derrick Williams:
- nice teeth
- a fourth of July date? hmmm.... :)
- the knock haha
- "we hug right?" "we do whatever you want" .... smooch smooch 
- cute goldfish party. I want to have one!
- what the people on the street?
- random band
- love the fireworks
- singing along hahaha! fun
- I love that she doesn't kiss every guy that shows up on her doorstep. It is very respectful of everyone's feelings. 

He is number 4.

Chris Morales:


- Lawyer? Smart.
- (the outfits made me decide to click to you-tube to watch it, I wanted it full screen)
- Cute conversion story
- Mmm I love Indian food
- Love her stalkings
- Ooooo love the dance
- Where do you think he got his outfit from?
- We don't get to hear alot of conversation this date. :(

I tend to...

Have to figure things out myself. I usually seek advice from everyone, even though it doesn't make me feel any better at the time. And then later on,  I'll be mulling over it and ZAM something someone said will hit home. I think I am too caught up in the emotions of the situation to realize the brilliancy of what people tell me until later. Usually once I have that wha-la moment I go and tell the person, and they just tell me that that is exactly what they have been telling me the whole time! It's a good thing I have such smart and deep friends. 

#3 on themormonbachelorette (dot) blogspot (dot) com

It's Tadd. I've reviewed him already before, but I'm way to lazy to make that convenient for you to see, so if you so desire review him first. And if you need a quick reminder, he is the TOO COOL guy...


-No.. you came on here to not find love. That's why you're here? Duh
- Utah's not in Arizona? What? Hello captain obvious.
- and captain confident...
- Green is his favorite food. I didn't know that was an option.
- He's been planning this date since he's been planning it. hmmm
- "It's going to be romantic. There will be romance."
- A bi-polar date. Great! egh...
- I'm surprised she doesn't fall asleep while driving listening to business books. 
- Wow reciting Green Eggs and Ham....... great date activity. 
- "I don't even know what species he is when I think about it..." hahaha and she doesn't even laugh! I would be cracking up so hard. He is having a serious thought process about Green Eggs and Ham. Wow. W O W!
-  mmm Sushi
- a summer sales boy? That tells a lot. A lot.
- not so sure about his necklace
- "True Story"
- Tooth brushes? 
- She feels so awkward. What a good sport.  Poor thing.
- Oh man so weird. So bad. So so sad for her!
- He does have good teeth though.
- She just laughs after he makes the comment about another date. That was weird for me just to watch.
- hahaha wait till after the credits. "for my muscles" haha


READ HER COMMENTS! SO FUNNY!
- "knows how to get a laugh out of people" I didn't see her laugh once!
- " it's going to be precisely what SOMEONE ELSE is looking for"
- she did do a good job trying to make it alright. but yes it was apparent that that was not her cup of tea!
- Nothing about a second date. Just that he was entertaining... from far away. Youtube style.


Poor poor Tadd

Date 2

It's Jace Mattinson! Remember my review of his application video? Well click here, and here to watch it!  AND NOW CLICK here to watch their date!

Alrighty here we go!

-I like him.

-nice shoes

-flowers, great touch... oh take the price tag off!! And did you know that yellow flowers mean friendship! egh...

- love me some mamba candies

- I like this date idea. breaking the touch barrier very quickly too! 

- they are fun.

- I wonder if she wishes she were wearing socks?

- what are hanging on his rear view mirror? boxing shoes?

- Yeah! they do tell us what they are! What if he doesn't have a little boy?

what she wrote:

-She liked the yellow flower! 

- and the hershey's kiss was a cute end.

I want

YOU. 

I WANT YOU! 

Except not. 

I want someone just like you, but not you. 

I know.... I want someone who is as passionate as you are about her, but about me.  

That's what I want. 

Date numbro uno

Aaron Bennett:

- "wish they all could be california boys..." 

- fireman!?! LOVE IT!

- Super cute red-head. Not a ton of those in the world.

- Love his dimples!

- MJ night?! Love him, love that!

- ...firefighter!

- Guitar - cliche...  but not too bad. and I'm glad he kept it short

- Nice arms fire fighter!

- Oh she wanted to feel them too...

- and he cooks?! winner!

- dances too hahaha wow. He does everything! Why is he not married?

- yep, not good at dance/skating.

- please please please show a fall!!!

- a little hand holding ;)

- confident. but I liked him!

I also loved what Ashley said. I am liking this girl! I hope she finds her Mr. Right this season!

You know

a guy isn't interested when after going out on a date with him, his best friend calls and asks you out.


you know he only sees you as a friend when he calls you to tell you about this girl he is in love with.


you know who your true friends are because they don't go after EVERY guy you confess to liking.


you know that your relationship is never going to go anywhere romantic when he belches in your face.


you know what kind of a person someone is when they make personal jokes about your single status


you know that no matter how hard you try, you can't make someone feel something for you.

the bachelorette

PS:
Just had to say that I think Ashley looked so great on the Fox News. She looks so pretty and tan and I was impressed with her. 


If you are still behind on things go to themormonbachelorette.blogspot.com  to follow with me on this fun journey. 

THE MORMON BACHELORETTE!

IT STARTS TOMORROW!!! (gah I am SOOO behind!)  I've totally still been following, but not reporting...   I'm really excited for this round. So here is a quick update on these past videos and men:

Adam the "Lucky Duck"
-A degree in what? I have no idea what he just said.
-Disclaimer before the pictures start? "I'm a rocker-geek..." Not sure how that combo works...
-It shows how he is tagged in his pictures..
-Blue hair?
-He likes to dress up.
-Yet again, blue hair.
-He is definitively a character himself.
-Oooo. I like him with the dark hair.
-A picture of his bed?! What in the world? Showing that he has a clean room? That he knows how to make his bed?
-He is coming Ashley... he's coming!
-I can NOT wait either Adam, your date shall be interesting


Tadd he is SO COOL.... um yeah...
- He is not bad on the eyes
- Is he already purposing?
- This paused voice over thing, is weird.
- Is he going to connect everything in his life to his relationship with Ashley?
- What is it with guys and flaunting cars.
- Tadd= Success? Really?
- Personally I'm not a fan of these guys who tell instead of show. You like camping? How many times have you been?
- "I want to make a family"..... enough said. 
- Can we be done with the "he's so cool" yet?! It's not so cool.
- Wow guys, he went to high school for 4 years. That's crazy.
- Yep, I think he was purposing at the beginning. I think he might have the ring 
on him on their first date. egh....


Adrian
- Show the ladies your pushup.
- I like the creative transitions.
- I also like how he is about to smile after he says, "ready for your colonoscopy?" I think that's cute.
- See Tadd: he is showing us how he likes to play sports. Not just telling us.
- You eat that apple.
- Love's Utimate test? For reals?
- What's this a bishop's endorsement? And he is confessing his inappropriate crush on Adrain...? 
- I find it funny when they have these friends of the opposite sex talk them up. Why aren't they all over that if they adore him so much? And a pool. You ladies are brave. 
- I love how the girls all start laughing when they guy starts in. Does that mean it's a lie? Or they just rehearsed this a lot?
- I like how you see him in so many different settings.
- This isn't a competition of if your love can past the test. It's if you are compatible with Ashley.
- I LOVE THE bloopers! I think that shows how fun he is! I am kinda liking this one. Some of it was a bit too serious, I think for this sort of personality video, but I still like him.


Erik-
-Hello handsome! Love the outfit!
- Physiology?
- Brazilian? 
- And funny. Love the monkey bars bit! 
- Haha I love the Karl Urban bit too!
- Travel? Exotic... SPANISH FORK?! Has he really been to all of those places? He isn't in any of those pictures...
- He is a play-boy. He loves to play. Though it does take some initiative to build that in his backyard though.
- OK maybe he does like to travel... it is his job and all.
- Real estate too? What doesn't he dabble in?
- Man Ashley, he wants to defend and fight for you. Arm wrestle style...


 Brandon-
- Bad view up his nose, but actually not bad on they eyes either. 
- I wish he had some sort of explanation for some of these videos. 
- For a dentist he sure doesn't like to smile with his teeth.
- Nice shot of his bod without a shirt. 
-JIMMER! He's everywhere! 


Kurt-
-Minnesota!
- He already. has his side of the wedding video put together. Starting at a baby.
Though it is really cute.
- A dog named Kherby?...
- I love his mission pride.
- Saving families from foreclosure? Playing the hero card. :)
- I love the quote "work to live not live to work"
- Man he really does love to travel! He beats all of these other contestants in this area!
- I am loving all of these pictures! He is cute.
- I have been told. though, that guys with white sunglasses are players... lets hope he isn't!!
- Love the take a chance song! 
- ok, walk into any girl's heart with the family card! So cute!
- He has a lot of fun
- "I'm normal?!" hahaha


YAY! who else is excited for tomorrow!?

Where'd all the people go?

Sorry folks! I wish I could tell you some wonderful update on my summer lovin', and have that be the reason I have been MIA.  Instead I joined the millions of little school kids and had some SUMMER FEVER and totally placed this here blog on the back burner.

But today and now I re-dedicate myself. (until the next wave of summer fever hits....)
Cheers!

Kevin: TMB

To see his video go here. 

- Love your blue truck much?

- I like the picture of him with his family. I don't like just the one shot of him before he gets into the car. 

-He needs to show himself at these places. I want to see him more.

- Not digging this background music.

-Last shot in the blue truck? Told you he is obsessed. 

-BAD lighting. I want to see him!!

- He's a cop? Why not a shot with his cop car? Or all decked out in uniform? That could be hot. 

He did spark an interest when he said that he is taking her to another on of his favorite places. Where will it be?...

Jace: TMB

Get to know Jace! I think he is a total HOTTIE!  I was surprised at how attractive I think he is. That first shot of him up close in the black dress shirt and blue tie, was just super cute. Why does that surprise me? I don't know... But I'm alright with it.  I really like his smile.

Someone needs to buy him is own dog, he apparently really loves his parents. But buy him a man's dog. Not a lap dog. 

I like him, BUT, what's the deal with the wig? 

dave:TMB

Meet Dave The first contestant on the Mormon Bachelorette! 

I'm not loving the shot of his legs with shorts and long socks... bad idea... BUT I thought he was really funny! That opening clip is great! The last "ponder shot" was weird... I was kinda hoping he would mouth the lyrics on time. I would have liked that, but I can't wait to see their date! 

Wanted:

Dear world, 


I've decided what "type" of guy I like/want.


A CONFIDENT one.
I don't care how he looks, but how he carries himself! 


Of course there are other important things I need in my man, but I recently realized that I love confident men! 
I want him in charge, not me. So if you want to set me up with your confident brother, please do! 
Love, Ava