holy crap.

Once upon a time I started this blog when I was young and blogs were "in"... it was a joke, something to do,  a random act.

Here I am almost a full ten years later, and am still in the single boat. (and really a bit embarrassed by these past posts!) BUT I figure that I still have good (or should we say bad) dating experiences and thought I might as well share.

Here goes nothing (or maybe, just maybe something.)

Really?

Dude, 
if I have a running tally of how many times you turn around to check us out in one hour then it's time to 


1. STOP
2. Do something about it 
3. or MOVE ON!! 




PS: it was about 10 times, and some of them were LINGERING looks. 



so obvious and awkward. gag. 

Self Inflicted Misery

Dear Gentlemen of the world,

Please do not deny yourself the opportunity for a girl to decide how she feels about you.

How will she ever decide if you are the man of her dreams if you never ask her out?

Just stating the obvious.

Thank You. 

After a long conversation with a good friend tonight he finally admitted that he is really interested in this girl, but after their first date he decided she is too good for him and would never like him.  Yes, he decided how she feels about him. He didn't even give her the chance to actually like him! He was too afraid of rejection to let her reject him or not. 


After pointing out the obvious: that even if he does ask her out again and she says no, then he is in the exact same place as he is right now: I finally convinced him to ask her out again. 


I'll keep tabs on how this goes. 
Cross your fingers for this poor boy, that he will be a man and ask her out!!

V-Day

Some may call it DOOMS day, or SINGLE AWARENESS DAY! 


But guess what ladies, just because you don't have a man to love doesn't mean you can't show love to the most important person in your life right now!!


TREAT YOURSELF TODAY!!!


Go indulge in your favorite treat, get all dolled up for no one else but yourself--or don't get ready at all!! This is your day as much as anyone elses!! 


BUT don't forget that just as much as you would love it someone went out of their way today to notice you, don't let the day pass without telling all those amazing people in your life that you LOVE them!!! 


Happy Day of Love! 

dreaming...

You want to spend all day with me? 

Good. 

Because that's all I want too...

My new crush

Hello HONEY~

There is more than one reason that I love soccer.... the number #1 reason is Mr. Joe Hart.  I may or may not be watching more of Manchester City's games now.








Lovin' this eye candy!!!

Securities

Nothing makes me feel quite as insecure as when I put my heart out on the line.

I scrutinize every little imperfection, trying to see what he might not like.

This is not healthy... and might just be killing me.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT DO THINK THINK ABOUT US?

Oh, if I could only read minds!

Closure: I approve that!

I have the fault of holding onto every good memory of a relationship and forgetting about all the persons bad traits and bad times. And I say FAULT because after the relationship is over I just keep beating myself up remembering all that I don't have anymore. 


And then I see said person again and remember why it ended, and why I want someone better for myself. 


Seriously this past time was a HUGE tender mercy. Especially because he did a fade out: talking to me one day, kissing me a few days before that and then NOTHING! 


And me being prideful, and hurt didn't reach out to contact him. Until we ran into each other about 2 months later. 


And I could see all the things that I wanted that he didn't have. I saw reality for the first time. It was so comforting. 


Game Plan: From now on I just need to close that gap between when it ends and when I get closure.  

Spring Cleaning

I'm revamping my blog. I removed the music player, not going to lie I didn't update it enough (my fault) and was sick of all those same songs. And I figured if I was sick of it, you would be too. Let me know otherwise and if not, welcome to 2012 baby! 

You, Me, and the Other Guy

I know I have been MIA, and I’m going to try and make it up. Right. Now. If possible.

I also know that everyone and their dog has some excuse, but if it doesn’t make you feel better it at least makes me feel better for my absence.

Life’s been a whirlwind. I got promoted, which means more exciting adventures, but more responsibilities. Plus being in a whole different department makes the transition hard, not just to step up my game but to not leave my old crew picking up my leftovers.

ANYWAY Blah blah blah right?!

So… I’ve been busy with work and have apparently been looking for men in ALL the wrong places! Like seriously?! Is there a singles bar for us Mormon ladies out there?! All the attractive men without any of the alcohol please!

More updates on that whole episode later.

Currently I am trying to busy my mind so I can keep it off a certain gentleman who I’m pretty sure is not getting the clue. How hard does a girl have to work to get a fellow to ask her out?! Seriously, I’ve made the last attempt to start things. I really believe that if a guy is interested he WILL make a move. (it just stinks when I really REALLY want him to pay me some attention and he’s not buying into it)  But that’s love and life right?!

More updates to come!
xoxo Ava

Makes you Think

While recounting an awkward date story (this one to be exact) with a guy the other night, I brought up the end of date weirdness. How even though I didn't enjoy my date with Topher, that when he asked me if we could go out again I said sure. And had then just planned on trying to get out of it, or make it short.

The friend I was recounting the story with was really taken aback that I wasn't honest with Topher. My friend said that he HATES it when girls do that. He said he feels led on.

I tried to justify saying that I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. That I don't want to be mean. This friend told me that it would be nicer to just be honest.

-This conversation happened a few weeks ago and I have now thought about this conversation a lot. Maybe the only feelings I am protecting are my own...?

I even had a conversation with a coworker the other day about this. How I feel like I need act a certain way since they are the ones paying to take me out. She shot that down and said that we have no responsibility when they take us out. We don't HAVE TO hug them goodnight. We don't HAVE TO stay out all night with them. (remember how I hate marathon dates but have never asked a guy to take me home early) We don't HAVE TO consent to a second date.

Apparently I need to practice how to be more like this friend.

conversation about a guy friend

friend #1"he's like family"

friend #2 "Well, that's ok!"

friend #3 "No... that's incest."

hug and a kiss

After getting used to hugging one size of guy it throws me off to hug someone else... Especially when I thought it was just going to be a casual hug, not a full frontal "hold me for a second" hug. 
So he zigged when I zagged and if he had been shorter we would have kissed. 
Instead, my lips ended up right on his neck. 
Yep.


I then apologized, and we chuckled. 
Sometimes, I can't help it, I am awkward, and helpless. Oh well!

Something to Consider

It has been done by every teenager at some point: the pairing of your name and his last. Sometimes all over your notebooks, like shown in many a teen pop movie.

We do it just to see how it would look, and feel, and sound.

And as dumb as this may be, I am going to declare that it is a necessity! I once dated a boy whose last name rhymed with my first. Like almost a joke at how similar they were. 

Not that it was really a deal breaker... but it is just something to consider. It will be your name for the rest of your life. 

Post Script

it did slow down.
a lot.
but hasn't stopped.
which is good.

and I may have some distractions... :)

...

He pulled out the slow down card.

slow usually comes before stop.... 

but I'm hoping this is different.

but hope doesn't stop the tears.

Present:

What do you do when a guy just won't leave you alone?!
-Yes, the attention is flattering... until it becomes his obsession.

I'm sorry, No, I cannot talk to you on the phone every day.
I'm sorry, I find it creepy that you text me once, and when I don't respond you text me again.
I'm sorry, I didn't want to spend hours upon hours upon hours with you
I'm sorry, I have a VERY full schedule and you are not at the top of my list
I'm sorry, you can't help with my schedule- last time I checked you 1. can't take my exams 2. can't work for me 3. can't do my church calling 4.can't sleep for me.
I'm sorry, I'm not ready to jump head first into a serious relationship with you

I'm sorry, but I'm just interested in someone else....

Past

I love when guys have no tact. And when I say love I mean the opposite.

For example:
-he called ME
-he asked about MY plans: which were a whole lot of NOTHING.
-THEN he asked about what my ROOMMATE was doing that night.
-and when I told him SHE was BUSY (just wait!!!)
-he told me he needed a DATE and since she was busy he ENDED THE PHONE CALL!

Classy.

I know you didn't know...

I'm kinda seeing someone right now. SHOCKER RIGHT!?! But lets not get ahead of ourselves. The future is unclear. What I do know is that I am loving spending time with this amazing guy, and I'm trying really hard to not fall too fast. (but it's really REALLY hard)

especially when he looks about like this:

minus the chain and the whole attitude. sorry "rated R" your personality stinks, even if you do look like my recent crush. 

swing of things

It's really hard to have to think about something (no matter how pleasurable this something might be) and then after one day of forcing yourself, for a greater benefit, to not think about it, to go back to trying to be how it was.

constant-constant-constant-constant-constant-STOP-and wait now it is supposed to be constant again?
just like that? 


It's a hard concept for me.